I’ve seen it a hundred times. A beautiful blushing bride and a proud handsome groom standing before God and witnesses, face to face and hand in hand repeating vows. They echo the officiant, “For better or for worse” – “For better or for worse” – “In sickness and in health” – “In sickness and in health…” Sometimes there is nervous laughter and other times tears of joy. Every time I watch this special moment I wonder to myself, “Do they really know what they are saying? Do they really know what they are committing to?” I question whether or not they have truly and honestly thought about the weight of those words. Sometimes I wonder if they view the vows and pledges portion of the ceremony as just a romantic and poetic moment among all of the other romantic and beautiful things. And why wouldn’t they? At what other time do we use words like honor and cherish and Shakespearian phrases like “until death do us part”?
In that moment none of us fully know what our vows and pledges mean. Even if we do understand the words we exchange through our vows and pledges, we all expect more health than sickness, more better than worse and more richer than poorer.
Do you take this woman / man to be your wedded wife/husband, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her/him, comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her/him, for as long as you both shall live?
The vows and pledges we speak at our wedding are not just poetry for the moment. We would do well to rehearse them daily, asking ourselves…
What will it look like to show her love today?
Do you know how your spouse receives love best?
In what ways does she need to be comforted?
Is your spouse anxious about anything?
Are they facing uncertainty today?
How can I show him honor?
How will you speak to your spouse today?
What tone of voice and attitude will you use?
What words will you choose when you share about your relationship with others?
What can I do to demonstrate that I want to keep her?
How can you demonstrate loyalty and commitment today?
What words can you offer that illustrate faith in your spouse and a commitment to be with them through whatever comes along?
What will it mean for me to forsake others today?
When feelings arise…
When there are things to celebrate…
When concerns are heavy and there is a need to confide…
How is it that you can turn to your spouse instead of others and offer them your heart?
Make a new vow today to revisit your spoken commitment and to find new ways of living them out in your marriage. “I Do” and “I Will” are a daily choice. Your vows and your pledge to one another are not just romantic poetry, they are a pathway to mature love, fulfillment and joy in marriage.
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“Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do, because you made your vow freely to the Lord your God with your own mouth.”
~ Deuteronomy 23:23 ~