Divorce?
When I was a kid I occasionally heard about a divorce occurring. When I did, infidelity was most often the clear cause and reason for nearly every one of them.
As I grew up I continued to hear about divorce, only the reason of infidelity was sited less and less and seemed to be replaced with a new reason, one that I always thought of as a little vague – irreconcilable differences.
In my late teens divorce was common place and a new reason for divorce had emerged as acceptable – incompatibility.
By the time I graduated college people were divorcing because of unhappiness.
Today, divorce is beyond common and widely accepted. With it, so is the latest reason for divorce which is a shifted from the earlier reason of unhappiness to “I could be happier.”
Don’t get me wrong. I believe there are times when divorce is wise. For instance, I’m not one to say that a person should stay in a marriage where they are suffering abuse, neglect or abandonment. My point is that people are giving up too easily and their choices are having devastating effects on their own souls, on the lives of their children, their families and the rest of us.
Sadly, divorce these days seems to be about as no-hassle as a department store take back. I can recall a time when the department stores would not easily take-back a broken or unwanted item. You would approach the service counter with quite a bit of fear and trepidation. The store manager would ask questions and you would have to make a clear and compelling case for why you were returning the item. There was no guarantee they would accept the reason for your return. Perhaps we would see less divorce if there were more people lovingly challenging the decision. Divorce should not be accepted without a challenge.
You may be thinking, “That’s easy for you to say because you have a good, healthy, and loving marriage!” You are right to say that I am in a good, healthy, loving marriage, but you would be very wrong to think it has always been this way for my wife and I. If you know us and have thought this about us then you’ve only seen our highlight reel. There’s a lot more ugly to our story than you know…
It hasn’t always been good. It hasn’t always been healthy, nor has it always been loving. You haven’t seen my indiscretions or my infidelity. You haven’t heard us have escalating arguments. You’d likely be surprised to know that we lived for years in a fog of disappointment and distance that basically had us living as married singles. You probably didn’t know that we have suffered loss and failed to grieve well together or support one another. I could go on and on in my effort to illustrate how our relationship has met all of the modern qualifications for ending in divorce.
The point I want to make is this… Our culture has made it acceptable and normal to divorce but there is tremendous value in sticking it out and staying together. Just because your marriage meets all the divorce qualifications doesn’t mean you have to. Every marriage will go
In our work with couples, we find that the ones who desire to stay together can emerge from a life of pain and disillusionment and arrive at a healthy new place of forgiveness, healing, unity and deep intimacy with one another.
It is our joy to see couples turn irreconcilable differences into reconciled love and deep appreciation of one another. It is our delight to see many couples break the cycle of brokenness and build a lasting legacy of mature love into their families.
Our culture has made divorce desirable but we are here to help you reclaim your desire for one another.
Click here to connect with Todd & Tami Hair at Love Ministries.
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”
~ John 15:12 ~